Reminiscing back to when PSE ( personal and social education) classes was first introduced to our public schools, I was 11 years old and our first topic was Our bodies.We had a super long discussion about our body parts and personal hygiene followed by an assignment to draw what we thought we looked like and write about the favourite part of our body.
My favourite body part coincidentally was my hair... I had already started puberty and my face was riddled with pimples, I was tall and shapely but I did not have a thin waist to fit my wide hips ( the ideal woman shape we were being taught women are supposed to fit), my breasts were bigger than the other girls but the associated attention that came with it was the least desirable to a kid who want nothing more than to not stand out. I cannot speak for the others but my favourite body part was in reality the part I disliked the least. And it was not completely my real hair! My least disliked body part was the only altered body part! I cannot quiet understand now how that teacher did not pick up on that? Or recognise the devastating message we were sending ourselves.
I also question her teaching about how puberty was going to turn us all into hour glassed shaped bodies when she herself had a petite and flat build! I especially question how the syllabus did not include acceptance of our bodies as an integral part of self esteem. In hind sight maybe the fact that the teacher shaved her eyebrows and redrew weirdly shaped, thick black line should have been a red flag to have her teaching self esteem to prepubescent kid!
It has been brought to my attention that some people prefer chemical straightening to the the social stigma associated with not straightening it. Another round of reminiscing takes me back to when I was 15 or 16 years old and there was a temporary craze of going "natural" at school. The motive however at that time was to show who had least coarse texture of nappy hair. Somehow having the mixed hair texture was supposed to be cooler or the envy of the others. My own attempt at that stint was an empty gesture since my mother had the final say about when and if she was going to relax my hair. So I was "natural" for the brief period that my mother deemed appropriate to allow my hair to grow before the next straightening.
So why is it considered more beautiful to suppress a natural and significant part of our identity? Why is it acceptable to change your hair, but it is frowned upon to want to change your skin colour?
Yes the media continuously bombards us with black women with straightened hair or with super voluptuous weaves of flowing cascades of wavy hair but why do we perceive such as more beautiful than to be natural?
Growing up, my view on being a girl was that pretty girls had long hair! So imagine how I felt about the fact that my hair was nice and long when wet, but shrank to half its length when dried! Or imagine my horror when my mother asked for scissors, trying to detangle my hair!
I remember the first haircut I ever had, my mother was trying her hand at layering; which unfortunately ended up reducing my mid-back length hair to barely shoulder length. I cried and sulked for days! And my mother's response was her an annoying saying that goes "seve pa donn manze" (which directly translate to - your hair will not feed you). Her wisdom elapsed me back then but I have since learned to appreciate the lesson and accept that superficiality is not the way to go. Hearing Lupita's speech with a similar saying from her own mother "You can't eat beauty, it doesn't feed you" stirred something in me.
How many of us say we are proud to be black but are continuously trying to change the very part which makes makes us black! Being black is skin deep and that is exactly what we are being continuously bombarded to change, our skin colour with whitening creams and our hair with chemical straightening cream. On a personal and human level, what do we achieve when we try to deny our basic and most apparent feature?What message are we sending?
This is a perfect example how to be the change I want to see in the world!If I want the world to stop thinking black is not beautiful, I need to start loving what makes me black! Since skin colour is not an issue for me, I want to battle the demon I know! Can you say the same?
My favourite body part coincidentally was my hair... I had already started puberty and my face was riddled with pimples, I was tall and shapely but I did not have a thin waist to fit my wide hips ( the ideal woman shape we were being taught women are supposed to fit), my breasts were bigger than the other girls but the associated attention that came with it was the least desirable to a kid who want nothing more than to not stand out. I cannot speak for the others but my favourite body part was in reality the part I disliked the least. And it was not completely my real hair! My least disliked body part was the only altered body part! I cannot quiet understand now how that teacher did not pick up on that? Or recognise the devastating message we were sending ourselves.
I also question her teaching about how puberty was going to turn us all into hour glassed shaped bodies when she herself had a petite and flat build! I especially question how the syllabus did not include acceptance of our bodies as an integral part of self esteem. In hind sight maybe the fact that the teacher shaved her eyebrows and redrew weirdly shaped, thick black line should have been a red flag to have her teaching self esteem to prepubescent kid!
It has been brought to my attention that some people prefer chemical straightening to the the social stigma associated with not straightening it. Another round of reminiscing takes me back to when I was 15 or 16 years old and there was a temporary craze of going "natural" at school. The motive however at that time was to show who had least coarse texture of nappy hair. Somehow having the mixed hair texture was supposed to be cooler or the envy of the others. My own attempt at that stint was an empty gesture since my mother had the final say about when and if she was going to relax my hair. So I was "natural" for the brief period that my mother deemed appropriate to allow my hair to grow before the next straightening.
So why is it considered more beautiful to suppress a natural and significant part of our identity? Why is it acceptable to change your hair, but it is frowned upon to want to change your skin colour?
Yes the media continuously bombards us with black women with straightened hair or with super voluptuous weaves of flowing cascades of wavy hair but why do we perceive such as more beautiful than to be natural?
Growing up, my view on being a girl was that pretty girls had long hair! So imagine how I felt about the fact that my hair was nice and long when wet, but shrank to half its length when dried! Or imagine my horror when my mother asked for scissors, trying to detangle my hair!
I remember the first haircut I ever had, my mother was trying her hand at layering; which unfortunately ended up reducing my mid-back length hair to barely shoulder length. I cried and sulked for days! And my mother's response was her an annoying saying that goes "seve pa donn manze" (which directly translate to - your hair will not feed you). Her wisdom elapsed me back then but I have since learned to appreciate the lesson and accept that superficiality is not the way to go. Hearing Lupita's speech with a similar saying from her own mother "You can't eat beauty, it doesn't feed you" stirred something in me.
How many of us say we are proud to be black but are continuously trying to change the very part which makes makes us black! Being black is skin deep and that is exactly what we are being continuously bombarded to change, our skin colour with whitening creams and our hair with chemical straightening cream. On a personal and human level, what do we achieve when we try to deny our basic and most apparent feature?What message are we sending?
This is a perfect example how to be the change I want to see in the world!If I want the world to stop thinking black is not beautiful, I need to start loving what makes me black! Since skin colour is not an issue for me, I want to battle the demon I know! Can you say the same?
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